just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So many bounce houses so little time
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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