i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
