She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
