I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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