Your tits are I can't wait for
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize