just come out here and I will go home with you...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
