Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
