Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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