My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
