it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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