Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
