dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
