bring money and cleavage
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
