Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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