Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
