Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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