Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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