discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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