So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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