How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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