Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
