I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
