is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
