Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my sisters under your porch take her home
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
