This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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