He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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