I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
