he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My vagina is officially offended.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
