I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
