Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
