If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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