It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
