Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
