Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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