There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
