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margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
