talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He uses pillows to masturbate.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
