No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
