but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
