he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
