I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
