I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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