god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Still dying that you shit outside
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
