its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
