dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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