Your mouth is God's brothel.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
