what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
