K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
