um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
