dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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