Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
