I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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